Singles units are great; alternatives are for everyone
I like the open discussion format of blogs. They help us clarify our thinking, refine the points we wish to make.
My point in the last posting was not to strike against singles wards and certainly not a singles unit in Brooklyn (Brooklyn is certainly exceptional--I live here ;). The point I wish to make goes to the issue that we need to be aware that it, the singles unit, is not a cure-all. I love 'em. They're great! Let's keep 'em..., and start new 'uns.
At the same time, my suggestion that we seek alternatives in helping singles develop and nurture relationships will not only benefit singles, but all those who are engaging in relationships, which is everyone.
I personally know many young married couples that could use help in developing their relationship that goes beyond: "keep the commandments". It's true and it's a start, but it would be great if there was someone who was accessible, easy to talk to who could point couples, young or old, in a productive direction, be it a pamphlet, counseling, a textbook, workshops, classes, activities, etc. Perhaps I am trying to produce something outside of the box because I haven't been able to get in the box yet (i.e., I'm single); but, I think in the end, if we can think outside of the box, it will provide a structure that helps everyone, married and single alike. Because, let's face it, being single is not a protected class. Everyone has their problems and deserves equal attention.
In the meantime, we can all do our part. For example, I can encourage the husbands among the couples I know to do their best, to believe, to have patience, and to help them appreciate what they have--offer a listening ear, but one that is aligned with the gospel vision of hope and faith, but most importantly one that is understanding, understand that these are difficult issues that are not wished away but take time to address. We (and when I use this pronoun I mean everyone; I consider myself as a member of humanity, not a single member of the church) can help by believing in the relationships of those around us and by believing in the people who are in those relationships. I see marriage and relationship issues as not simply a singles issue.
My point in the last posting was not to strike against singles wards and certainly not a singles unit in Brooklyn (Brooklyn is certainly exceptional--I live here ;). The point I wish to make goes to the issue that we need to be aware that it, the singles unit, is not a cure-all. I love 'em. They're great! Let's keep 'em..., and start new 'uns.
At the same time, my suggestion that we seek alternatives in helping singles develop and nurture relationships will not only benefit singles, but all those who are engaging in relationships, which is everyone.
I personally know many young married couples that could use help in developing their relationship that goes beyond: "keep the commandments". It's true and it's a start, but it would be great if there was someone who was accessible, easy to talk to who could point couples, young or old, in a productive direction, be it a pamphlet, counseling, a textbook, workshops, classes, activities, etc. Perhaps I am trying to produce something outside of the box because I haven't been able to get in the box yet (i.e., I'm single); but, I think in the end, if we can think outside of the box, it will provide a structure that helps everyone, married and single alike. Because, let's face it, being single is not a protected class. Everyone has their problems and deserves equal attention.
In the meantime, we can all do our part. For example, I can encourage the husbands among the couples I know to do their best, to believe, to have patience, and to help them appreciate what they have--offer a listening ear, but one that is aligned with the gospel vision of hope and faith, but most importantly one that is understanding, understand that these are difficult issues that are not wished away but take time to address. We (and when I use this pronoun I mean everyone; I consider myself as a member of humanity, not a single member of the church) can help by believing in the relationships of those around us and by believing in the people who are in those relationships. I see marriage and relationship issues as not simply a singles issue.
Comments
That said, I belive that where you attend church does not determine whether or not you will have friends or find a spouse. Church meetings are for worshipping, learning, teaching, feeling the Spirit, and growing testimony. If you are attending with those goals in mind, you most likely won't form close friendships at church. Friendship (and more) requires an atmosphere that is conducive to free-flowing interaction and conversation, and quite frankly, the few minutes between church meetings is not the time or place to do that. You make close friends and connections that can lead to dating and marriage relationships when you (a) eat together, (b) play together, and (c) work/serve together. What a stake, district, or singles ward needs to do is make sure that they are providing opportunities for singles to do these things. What singles need to do is make sure that they're doing these -- including planning such activities themselves, rather than depending on an "activities committee" to do all the work! In particular, I recommend that everybody learn to cook and regularly get small or large groups together. Hey, everybody has to eat, right?
As for a stake or ward relationships specialist, it may not be an official church calling, but there are people who are qualified willing to serve in that way regardless. I, for one, do my best out here in Plainview. :^)