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The saga continues

Rusty's Response: "Regarding the stake relationship specialist, I'll propose it at our Stake High Council meeting tonight. :) Hey, you know we've put in an application for a singles branch, right?
Hopefully having a singles unit in Brooklyn will attract the singles from Manhattan who would otherwise move to Brooklyn except that Manhattan has the singles wards. It'll be interesting."


My follow-up:

Actually, I think that it is interesting that in response to my facetiously-toned* comment that we should have a specialist to assist in helping people to get together, your similarly-toned** solution was the creation of a singles branch.

I attended singles wards in Manhattan for six years, yet, I never felt like they served as a solution. It's interesting because the Church Handbook of Instructions 1 instructs that most singles are best served as members of conventional wards and branches and only encourages the creation of a singles unit in exceptional cases (I read it when I was an Executive Secretary). Anyway, it's interesting. Lots of people think that singles wards are the answer to getting people together. In the city, there is so little relaxed interaction, and singles wards perpetuate that intensity. On the other hand, family wards permit individuals to interact in a secure atmosphere, learning the gospel from those with varied experiences and backgrounds. It rounds out the individual's humanity. We can form relationships that substitute for the family relationships most of us lack in this potentially very isolating place.

I really enjoyed my time in the singles wards and I think they serve plenty of good. As well, I think it's good to have a few other tricks up our sleeve.

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* 'Facetiously' as in amusing, humorous, light-hearted--all very good, the best approach for open dialogue.

** 'Similarly' inasmuch as the response began with similarly-humored remark; followed up, however, with a very sincere proposal of an encouraging development, the institution of a singles branch.
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Comments

Lollygagger said…
I don't know if I agree that, as the Handbook says, singles are best served in conventional wards. I have spent the last couple of years in conventional wards and I've found it isolating. The singles ward culture at least provides a social framework for people in like situations. The thing I miss most about singles wards is actually the ease of finding girlfriends...since I have been in family wards it's been really hard to find a great support network of women. Not that there aren't people I could be friends with in my ward; it's just more difficult when most of the women you interact with are married and thus have different priorities from you. Anyway, that's this girl's perspective. It's possible I have felt socially isolated, though, because I've been in a serious relationship the past two years and not because I'm in a conventional ward. I haven't reached out as much because I did not think I had as much reason to. My relationship ended recently, and I have indeed noticed I have been making more of an effort to make friends in the conventional ward. Hm...
November 12, 2009 at 10:59 PM
Ryan Thomas Barnhart said…
Yeah, singles wards can be great for making friends sometimes. I've been in family wards for the past three years, and, yes, I have to make a considerable effort to make friends, but I guess the upside is that I have been fortunate to find that many people are willing to make friends or form at least some kind of relationship, not expecting me to leave in six months to a year--even though I usually do anyway.
November 12, 2009 at 11:13 PM
Ryan Thomas Barnhart said…
I guess I also like the variety of friends. I get something very different out of my polite interactions with a sixty year-old Haitian woman than I get from my interactions with young professionals.
November 12, 2009 at 11:15 PM
Caleb said…
obviously some of the apostles must be for them because they have them, but Elder L. Tom Perry said to NY metro area bishops, branch presidents, and stake and district presidencies at a training in the past two years, that if it were up to him, there wouldn't be extra singles units. He cited the example of a single person he knew or was aware of who was in that age group (eligible to be in a singles ward) and was reactivated and was called to serve as a Primary president. He said that calling was very important in helping her strengthen her testimony and develop the foundation to be active through her life.
November 14, 2009 at 7:53 AM
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